Killer Diet by Rowan Hanlon

Author:Rowan Hanlon [Hanlon, Rowan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Reverberator Books
Published: 2024-01-03T00:00:00+00:00

Instant Karma

Most people don’t have the advantage—or disadvantage, depending on how you look at it—to know when their life is about to irrevocably change. But I did. I knew that my life was about to change and the change was not going to be to my liking. Nate had fucked me.

But let me take a moment to really relish in the beauty that is instant karma. What happened to Nate had been just that. Before I could react, I was stunned by the simplicity of the act. And before I could think about the severity of all this, I said out loud, “That’s like instant karma.”

Instant. Karma.

One minute he was a raging maniac, the next he was dead on my bathroom floor. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit! Nate was dead and I’d killed him! I’d killed the bastard! What the fuck! What the fuckity-fuck-fuck!

Now I was really freaking out. What was I going to do? How… When… Maybe… I couldn’t form sentences; nothing was computing. To say I was beside myself would be a gross understatement. What happened? What was I supposed to do? How was I going to explain this to the cops? To Mabel? Oh, God! To Megan?!

Blood was pouring from Nate’s head. My whole body began to shake in a panic. I then turned and grabbed a few towels from the small linen closet and began to mop up the blood.

It was so gross. And he was looking so… Blue. Then I felt nauseous and got to the toilet just in time to throw up. After I was done, I realized I was going to needed a lot more towels.

And maybe to call the cops.

I mopped up more blood, using most of my towels, which, sounds awful, but, as I cleaned, I began to get pissed off. Really pissed off. Who the hell just bursts into someone’s home and starts getting all rapey and killy? Like, seriously. And now all my new, pretty clean towels were ruined. And, even worse, I was now a killer.

Then I realized something. He got what he deserved.

“Wow,” I said. “He really did.”

Again, with the instant karma.

I stepped back and stared at him. Then I poked him in the chest a few times with my foot to confirm he was, in fact, dead. He was. Then… Then it was like something snapped inside of me and I was no longer afraid. Me. I was no longer afraid.

It was the weirdest moment I’d ever had in my entire life. Especially considering I’d just killed a man.

I stared at him and, in what I can only assume, was a fit of near insanity—or real insanity, depending on how you look at it—I started to laugh. I couldn’t stop, either. I shook my head at the mess I was in but couldn’t get a grip. Then I stopped, recalling something Nate had said just minutes ago when we were in the living room and in our heated argument. I’d glared at him as he said those terrible things to me…

“Me?” he’d said.

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